Beer bottles, blood and tears!

So last night I worked the 11:00 pm to 7:00 am. It was crazy, I tell you! The night started off slow, I had a 32 year old girl with a bruised leg (small bruise) who thought she was having a DVT. She was scared and had no real reason to be in the ER. We did all the appropriate tests for DVT's, Pulmonary embolisms, hypercoaguability syndromes, platelet issues and electrolyte imbalances. When all was normal we reassured her that she would be fine and that she should return home to her husband and 3 young children and explain to them that in the ER she had just spent all the Christmas and vacation money for the next 3 years. 

Then all hell broke loose. 2 opposing gang member got into a fight over a lady friend and attacked each other with beer bottles. They were brought in by the police and continued to try and fight in the ER. I was assigned to put both of them back together again. The first guy was kicking screaming and swearing at me and everyone else. I had 2 detectives, 2 police officers and a couple of nurses all crammed in a room while I tried to calm him down and suture him up. He looked at me right as I was starting and said "you look nervous" and "I have AIDS!" Those were such comforting words as I prepared to inject his many lacerations with lidocaine 2%.  Finally I had to ask everyone to leave so that I could finish the suturing without all the fanfare. The patient was given some Ativan which helped calm him a little and I sewed him up. 38+ sutures in all. He had a huge forehead flap that I had to repair. You could see the skull looming below the laceration. He also had several lacerations on his arms. Once I finished him up I had the other guy he had been fight with.

This patient had more lacerations but was much easier to work on. He was calm for the most part. So I put 40+ sutures in him which included fixing both his upper and lower lip. He told me he wanted JayZ lips. I also had to put his ear back together and the attending Doc helped me with the ear surgery. I calmed the patient by talking to him about old school rap artists like KRS1, Slick Rick and NWA. He thought it was funny that I even knew who these artists (term used loosely) were and that a cracker like myself could actually be cool. 

Then I was ready for a break and as luck would have it, some 30 year old white male was drunk and happened to get attacked in his own kitchen by 4 knife wielding assailants. Evidently he had done nothing to get involved in this altercation and was simply a victim of circumstances. It does not matter to me, I just get to fix him up. So I sutured him and looked at his nose which turned out to be fractured. Circumstances can be a bitch! I fixed him up and finally had a chance to breathe. 

It was 6:00 am as I put the last suture in, I finished my paper work and left for home realizing that I never ate or drank or urinated the entire shift. I was busy having too much fun. I get go back tonight for another graveyard shift.

Lesson = do not be a victim of circumstances.